Written 4/12/12
Many of yous (Note: yes he actually write yous) have either
heard me talk of my cousin Abby or had the pleasure to talk to her yourself on
my Facebook. I call Abby my cousin but truth be aren’t’ blood at all… see her
grandmother married my grandfather before each of us were born. Don’t get me
wrong we were raised as cousins for the start of our childhood, but when our
Grandpa Louis passed away… well both sides of our families split. I remember
seeing my Grandpa right before he passed, he told me “Douglas, always call an
ace an ace and a spade a spade.” It took me many years to understand that
saying. His final wish was for his two Grandchildren who were mere months apart
in age to stay close. Abby and I were the only two to keep in touch over the
years. I may call Abby my cousin but in all reality… Abby is my best friend.
And I couldn’t have a better one than I do in her. Like everyone else in my
life, when I started using drugs, I started pushing people away! Abby was no
different… I lost touch with her. I was 20 years old the last time I saw her. When
I was arrested she was the 1st person to write me. She told me how
she has been searching for me for years, but she could never reach me, until
her mom sent her my article of my arrest in the newspaper. During those 13 days
that I was waiting on the police to come get me I set up pa Facebook page… I
really don’t know why I set it up but I did. I remember the second letter that
Abby wrote to me saying she just found my Facebook pare and that I had spelled
my last name wrong! pI had no idea and frankly didn’t believe her… but I did, I
spelled it Dabry, instead of Darby. You know you’re fucked up when you spell
your own last name wrong! Man, how embarrassing! Abby has been with me from the
start. She’s never judged me, has she sugar coated anything? Hell No! She’s a
fighter and doesn’t let me sell myself short, If I’m on bullshit she’s the 1st
to tell me! She tells me like it is, like in her last letter she put it bluntly…
saying “stay strong, miss you much! Don’t Fuck Up! Love, Abby” Ha Ha. When
I first got locked up I was getting in a lot of trouble and I was fighting in
Dodge. Her acting like my big sister, she put me in my place. She knew if I
continued to cause trouble or if I got caught fighting, that I would trick off
my program and up doing my whole 4 years. I’m proud to say since getting to
prison I haven’t caught a single ticket and have really prioritized my life!
She had faith in me even when I didn’t. She does so much for me! Not only is
she my rock but also my therapist (which she has a degree in), my Facebook and
blog manager, and she relays all my messages. But to me, she’s my best friend!
She is the very definition of loyalty, honesty, and being open minded!
Thank you Abby!
Always Remember... One Family, One Love!
So with all that positive support and a few kicks in the
ass, it seems to have paid off! Once again it looks like both my mom and Abby
were right again! I went and had my physical for boot camp! Sooooo I’m 99% sure that I’ll be going in the
next month or two, which means… I’ll be home in 8 months, 10 at the most. Let
me be the 1st to say “Hell Fucking Yea! Look out Douglas is coming
home!” To say the least, I’m pumped! Boot camp is gonna be a bitch but shit I’d
crawl through hot coals. I’m rounding 3rd, headed for home. The
final stretch is on! Can’t wait.
I’ll find out next week for sure. All signs point that way
though. See you all soon!
The real test will then begin. A test I’m ready to take.
“I came out at the darkness… I got one more shot at living…
I got a little roughed up, Yea… I really got fucked up! I can see the light ‘cuz
someone’s looking out for me!”
Gotta love them lyrics. Inspiration is everywhere; you just
gotta take the time to see it! Like I said I now find it in the little things.
Fuck the world! Turn the negative into positive! Me, I’m a glass is always
half full, some people can’t see it that way, to them its always going to be
half empty. And that’s OK. But just know you can always get a refill!
Like the great mind of Milton who wrote in Paradise Lost: “The
mind is its own place and in itself can make a heaven of hell or a hell of
heaven!” or even Shakespeare, who observed “There is nothing either good or bad
except that thinking makes it so.”
Even the most ugly things can hold beauty... just open your
eyes and look, it’s there.
So until next time I’m gonna keep my eyes open so I don’t
miss a thing/ Im ready to see some real beauty, I can only pick out so much
from razor wire. Soon enough, soon enough.
Peace out!
Douglas
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