Loyalty... that's a word that means everything to me. Not in just one way either. But in so many different ways, from friends and family that are there for you no matter what, but also as a responsibility for keeping your mouth shut! See being in prison has really opened my eyes to how chicken shit some people really are. I just can’t understand it. Back in ’07 I was a victim of being told on, the person who told, well I can’t put him out there like that but you sure as fuck know who you are! (See I can’t even snitch on the snitches, I’ll never sink to your level, you fucking rat). He told on me because he couldn’t admit to his family that he had a heroin problem… so rather than just manning up he thought it would be better to sell his soul to the cops, this fucking kid wasn’t even in trouble with the law. I just couldn’t support him and his addiction anymore. I wasn’t even asking him for all the cash he owed me. He just told on me to tell and he knew everything about my “operation” at the time. Maybe he didn’t know how much time I would have got but you believe me when I say I would have done at least 10+ years in the Fed. Joint. By the grace of God and other extenuating circumstances I got everything out of my house. Thank the Lord that when the SWAT kicked in the door all I had was two pounds of Dank (weed) in the house, I remember them screaming “Where’s the Heroin?” No one knew about the smack at that time in my life except 3 people… one was arrested with me and the other was my fiancĂ© at the time. The third was him. It wasn’t until I bailed out of jail just to have my door kicked in again 4 months later. I finally got to my prelim trial and I got my Discovery, I saw the name in black & white. Yea, true story, police don’t give a shit about you and totally put you out there like that. Now I’ve been on the other side too. I was more or less facing prison, the detectives came several times to get me to flip… can’t do it…wouldn’t do it! I fucked up! Why would I work with the enemy and try to fuck up someone else’s life? I don’t wish this life on anyone. Shit I’ll do anything to get out of jail true, including shedding tears on the stand… but snitching is unforgiveable! So to that bitch that told on me, I once called you a friend, now all I have to say is… I’ve weathered the storm, was knocked down and rained on! But now the clouds have cleared… and I’m still here standing strong!
Anyways, sorry I got caught up in the moment! Back to loyalty. I used to think that friendship was defined by how long you were friends… “I’ve known dude forever, he has to be my friend...”BULLSHIT! Friendship is based on actions and situations. I’ve never asked a friend to hit a “home run,” just get in the box and swing. That’s all I ask! Being locked up has really opened my eyes to how many people still have love for me. I will be the 1st to admit that I was a shit friend, the last few years. I stopped seeing the beauty in life and slowly pushed everyone out of my life. For this I apologize and can only look to the future and regain the friendships I once had. The support and forgiveness has been awesome! That’s loyalty… when you can lose a friend for years and not agree with their choice of life but know that there’s a good person inside, to stick with someone in their weakest moment… that’s loyalty!
Loyalty is everything!
Betrayal is unforgiveable!
I’m still here standing strong with the same smile on my face. Cause life goes on, even with the trial and tribulations, the near suicide attempt or the time I was facing. I’m just thankful to have a solid foundation, family and friends that let me use them as motivation!! And for those wondering if the old Doug is back, yes this is the rebirth of me. I’m better than ever just wait and see… I’m destined for greatness, just keep looking, you’ll see!
Till Next Time,
Douglas
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