Written: 4/16/12
Man, what a day! Prison can be a powerless place to be.
Today was a day when I had many emotions, many of them I felt two or three
times just at different point of the day. I had to wrestle with myself over and
over on whether or not I wanted to write this blog. Everyone that I talked to
just told me “to leave it alone” or “she’s just looking for a reaction!” Well,
Abigail if that’s true… if you wanted a reaction out of me, or I should say if
you wanted to hurt me, let me be the 1st to say congrats! That shit
you posted about me on your Facebook crushed me!
Your 1st quote from T-Pain, you called me a punk
bitch who’s getting fucked in prison… HaHa that shit I can live with. Well even
laugh at! I mean come on I have teenage brothers that come up with more clever
shit than that! But you saying “Hey P. Farbs good luck on yo 12 years stayed
imposed sentence.” Not going to lie, that shit cut deep. You’re really going to
wish bad on me like that? You’re going to hope for me to do another 12 years on
top of the 3 I’m already going to have done? That’s fucked up! And it’s even
more fucked up because you yourself just caught a dope case; you’re going to wish
more prison time on me, when you just caught a class D felony plus two more
lower felonies? That class D felony is a 25 year max, sweetheart, that’s no
slap on the wrist!
Abs I haven’t even spoken to you since August. I’ve stayed
out of your life, wished you nothing but happiness and then you put your Facebook
back up and take shots at me like that. I really don’t understand. Did I really
hurt you that bad? I’m the 1st to admit I was a shit boyfriend; I
made more mistakes than I can count and told more lies than I care to admit.
What makes you the maddest? Or was it that I used to cut your Heroin? Extremely
selfish on my part! This I know. My cards are on the table… I’ve apologized
over and over and again from the bottom of my heart. I’m so sorry. I don’t ask
for forgiveness, I probably don’t deserve it. All I ask is that you keep my
name out of your mouth! Do you realize that you may be walking into prison right
around the time I’m walking out? I may be the only person in your life
that truly understands what you’re going through, and what you may go through.
Hell Abby, this isn’t even how I wanted to say all this… but
your family wouldn’t give you my mail even if I did send a letter, they’ve proved
that. So since you made it apparent that social networking is how you’d like to
throw shots, well this is my response.
Things went bad between us that I get! But at one time you
were my Bonnie, I was your Clyde. We did every crime together, except the
pharmacy robbery… It was us against the world! We were partners in crime and
love! There was even a time when I asked you to spend the rest of your life
with me… I asked you to be my wife… and you said yes. Things change O.K., but Abby
I want you to go find sobriety, find happiness! I still wish nothing but the
best for you and truly wish things were different, but they are not and I cannot
change the past! Sometimes love just isn’t enough! I don’t want a damn thing
from you… nothing. You’re going to do you no matter what and there’s not much I
can do about it. You’re going to do what you wanna do and say what you wanna
say. So do you! I’m just trying to move forward with my life.
I’ve said my peace in this letter… your business is yours,
let mine be mine. I know this letter will probably piss you off, just like your
comments hurt me! You know what? That’s OK because it’s great to feel pain and
anger, let’s you know you’re alive! And I couldn’t be happier to know that
tomorrow is going to come. I’m finally ready!
So since you like quoting rappers, let me quote 2-Pac… “Hell,
I ain’t mad at ya… got nothing but love for ya!” Abby take inspiration from the
music, use it to build you up... You really want to tear me down or anyone else
for that matter?
Take care Abigail and stay positive, always remember… the
good times! You won’t take me up on my offer but if you need anything and I
mean anything... I’m here. You know where to find me. Be safe!
Best wishes,
Douglas
Wow! Doug once again, I give you credit.
ReplyDeleteYou know "Little Girl-not only did you bring Doug, my oldest son down with your public hate comments, you also brought those who love Doug down-most especialy my younger more innocent children-Andrew, Mitchel and Alyssa. They loved you!
They love and respect and WORRY!
Oh My God-
They've Worried So, for their older brother! These wonderful kids didn't deserve to read your spew. They didn't deserve any of this! But some how they found it in themselves to handle it with grace humility love faith hope honesty and humor! They are so true to themselves and loyal to their brother. And You added to those worries, and undeservingly to their pain.
Trust me, "Snail"
this has been More Fucking Pain then I would Ever wish on anyone! You or your family!
My God, do you have a CLUE?
It has absolutely brought us to our f-cking knees!
I Wish You could've handled it with as much maturity and class as these 3 children and may I add, their young friends who have been so supportive, have!
But since you didn't, Well, all I can say is
YA, WHAT HE SAID . . .
I too, (sigh) hope you get help that will be available to you-if you choose to follow it.
Always Remember;Doug's Mom - Tami